Saturday 30 April 2016

Situational Writing Draft 2_17_Faqih Akmal

6 Sim Lim Park
Singapore 234234

7 April 2016

Dear cousin

I am on cloud nine that you will be visiting Singapore next week. It has been a year since I have seen your beautiful face. I really hope that you could stay with me forever because you’re the best person I know since I was born. Nonetheless, I cross my fingers that my plan will be a fun and an enjoyable one for you and our parents!

The first cultural place that we are going to visit is the Chinatown. There are many religious landmarks because Singaporean believes that harmonious country is a key to peace. And guess what? We can take a trishaw ride around the vicinity. I know that you’ve never take a trishaw before but I promise you that the ride will be fun! You can bargain as you buy souvenirs, fashion apparel and leather goods for your friends or neighbours back in New York.

Very close to Chinatown is Little India. It is one of the most colourful places in Singapore. With gaily painted shophouses selling traditional Indian apparel, gold bangles, spices and other wares, it is almost impossible not to find any traditional items you dreamt of having. There’s a shop that sells a uniquely Singaporean dish, fish head curry. You might want to consider to sample the dish!

There’s a modern tourist attraction in Singapore, the Merlion Park. A lot of people love to take group photos or selfies at the park. I don't know why but it was said that the water that is sprayed to the sea makes it an iconic place. You might want to take tons of pictures there and show-off to your friends. By the time we finish visiting the merlion, it would have been night and we could dine in style in the Singapore Flyer! At night, the views of the Singapore buildings around it is very majestic. There is colourful light of the city which makes your eye in disbelief. How cool is that! And by the way, the menu is a wide range of local fare: laksa, chilli crab, nasi lemak and many others.

That's all. I hope the itinerary sounds awesome to you. I'm really looking forward to seeing you next week!

Cheers,
Faqih

1 comment:

  1. the Chinatown... should be Chinatown

    Opening is too... touchy

    Opening error: our parents. Should be your parents.

    Guess what? Isn't a sentence.

    "you've never take" is wrong. Should be: "you've never taken"

    "harmonious country is a key to peace". Should be: "a harmonious country is the key to peace."

    "You can bargain as you buy souvenirs, fashion apparel and leather goods for your friends or neighbours back in New York." Great choice of vocabulary!

    "Very close to Chinatown is Little India" sounds weird. Try: "Not far from Chinatown lies Little India." (Might not be best)

    You used the word "gaily". That's nice.

    "not to find any traditional items you dreamt of having" should be " not to find any traditional items you dream of having".

    I'm not sure if "fish head curry" is a name... ask Ms Oh.

    "I don't know why but it was said" should be "I don't know why but it is said" because it is a fact.

    "it would have been night and we could dine in style in the Singapore Flyer!" should be "it should be nighttime and we can dine in style in the Singapore Flyer!"
    "At night, the views of the Singapore buildings around it is very majestic. There is colourful light of the city which makes your eye in disbelief." should be "At night, the views of the buildings around the Singapore Flyer is very majestic. The colourful lights of the city will definitely make you awe in disbelief."

    "How cool is that!" is not a proper sentence.

    "And by the way, the menu is a wide range of local fare: laksa, chilli crab, nasi lemak and many others." should be "And by the way, the menu offers a wide range of local foods: Laksa, Chilli Crab, Nasi Lemak and many more."

    Don't use words like "awesome".

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