Saturday 30 April 2016

Situational writing draft 2 (Rae)

6 Sim Lim Park
Singapore 234234

6 April 2016

Dear Paul

I'm so glad to know that you and your parents are coming to visit Singapore in two weeks time! Singapore is such a beautiful and green city, I'm sure you are going to love it. Since you are unfamiliar with Singapore, I thought I could recommend some places of interest to you.  

I heard that you and Uncle Benson and Auntie Sophia are planning to stay at a hotel located at Orchard, a very vibrant part of Singapore, and Auntie Sophia can do a bit of shopping if she's interested. But of course, you can always travel elsewhere considering how convenient Singapore's public transport is. One cultural place of interest I would recommend is Little India where there are the most colourful districts and there are also gaily painted shophouses which sell traditional Indian apparel, gold bangles, spices and other wares. Apart from that, there is also a 24-hour shopping mall, Mustafa Centre, where you can shop anytime you like. Also , you would not want to miss one of Littles India's specialities - Fish head curry.  Another cultural place is Chinatown, and visit religious landmarks of different faiths. Take a ride back in time by taking trishaw rides offered there, and pop into traditional medicine halls and teahouses. Don't forget to visit the lively street market where you can purchase souvenirs, fashion apparel, leather goods and many more for yourself and your loved ones. A tip for you, you can bargain to lower the prices of the goods you would like to purchase.

Chinatown, other than being a cultural place, also has many modern aspects. Apart from what I have mentioned earlier, there are also beautifully restored shophouses, colonial and modern buildings, as well as quirky cafes where you can grab a snack or two to munch on. Next, I plan to bring you to the Singapore Flyer which is the world's biggest observation wheel and you will be able to have a bird's eye view of Singapore's iconic landmarks such as Marina Bay, Merlion Park and Empress Place. Furthermore, what will be more luxurious to be able to dine with your loved once in such a nice and cosy place with panoramic views? Lastly, take on the role of a pilot using the Real Flight Simulator. I would say it's novel and interesting, what are your views?

I believe after a long day of fun, everyone would be tired and hungry. As you know, Singapore is known as a food paradise so you have to try the food. It has such a wide array of food such as Chili Crab, Satay, Laksa, the national dish Hainanese Chicken Rice. My personal favourite is Laksa (noodles in a spicy soup) which I think might be something you are interested in too since you love spicy food, like me. Auntie Sophia and Uncle Benson might like Hainanese Chicken Rice since they like having rice in their meals. 

I hope you will consider my recommendations and will give you a slightly deeper understanding of Singapore. If you have any other queries , feel free to ask me. Looking forward to your arrival!

Your loving cousin, 
Rae



2 comments:

  1. Opening paragraph is structured nicely. Great job!

    Mind shortening this:"you and Uncle Benson and Auntie Sophia" to this: "you and your parents"?

    "gaily painted shophouses which sell traditional Indian apparel, gold bangles, spices and other wares." nice.

    "Take a ride back to time". Shouldn't it be: "Take a ride back in time"?

    "Chinatown, other than being a cultural place, also has many modern aspects." is not a good opening phrase. You didn't say anything about going to Chinatown before this statement.

    Great vocabulary! E.g. "quirky"

    "have the bird's eye view" should be "have a bird's eye view"

    "Furthermore, what will be more luxurious to be able to dine with your loved once in such a nice and cosy place with panoramic views?" should be "Furthermore, what will be more luxurious than to be able to dine with your loved ones in such a nice and cosy place with a panoramic view of the vibrant city?"

    "Lastly, take on the role of a pilot using the Real Flight Simulator. I would say it's novel and interesting, what are your views." nice. but last fullstops should be a question mark.

    "I believe after a long day of fun, everyone would be tired and hungry." should be "I believe that after a long day of fun, everyone would be tired and hungry."

    "It has such a wide array of food such as Chili Crab, Satay, Laksa, the national dish Hainanese Chicken Rice." should be "It has a wide array of food, such as Chili Crab, Satay, Laksa, and the national dish Hainanese Chicken Rice."

    gravy is a sauce. Use soup.

    "I hope you will consider my recommendations and will give you a slightly deeper understanding of Singapore." should be "I hope you will consider my recommendations and I hope I gave you a deeper understanding of Singapore."

    "If you have any queries, feel free to ask me." redundant sentence. Only used in formal writing. Remove it.

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  2. As Cheng Yang mentioned, you have a few errors here and there. However apart from there, the letter is great. I like the vocabulary you added, it makes the letter more exciting :P well done

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